


Colorēs in meīs oculīs

by greenblanketbythefire



Series: Falling Is Meaningless If It’s Not For You [5]
Category: Dissidia: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everything is black white and gray, F/M, Implied Eventual Romance, Reader is hopeful, Soulmates, Vayne is unsure, You’re colorblind until you find your soulmate, until soulmate :D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenblanketbythefire/pseuds/greenblanketbythefire
Summary: Reader has been waiting for her soulmate for twenty years. She finally finds him on a world between worlds.Soulmate AU Oneshot of Brick By Boring Brick.
Relationships: Vayne Carudas Solidor/Reader
Series: Falling Is Meaningless If It’s Not For You [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1298612
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

“So you’ve got soulmates on your world, too? How’s it work?”

“Is it the colors? It’s gotta be the colors, right?”

“Prompto, let the poor woman answer.”

“Can you three can it so she can speak?”

A few days had passed since I had fallen to Eos. I had felt cold and alone at first, unable to do anything useful. Now, I was learning how to use a sword and could heal people with one touch. Noctis and his friends took the time to get to know me. And the world I come from. Our homes seemed to have several things in common, from landscape to language, and from technology to culture (somewhat). I’d never thought other planets would have the soulmate system in place, too.

Ignis and Noctis were soulmates, that much I could tell from how close they sat and how both of them pointed out the colors of things casually. I had always wanted to know what colors looked like. Without knowing, it made reading rather dreary when it came to certain descriptions of things. All I could see was monochrome and it hurt even worse, now, to think that I might not even be able to get home.

“Well,” I swallowed the rising despair in my heart. “Everyone’s born colorblind. When you meet your soulmate, the world is supposed to burst into color.”

“Called it!” Prompto said excitedly. He looked up dreamily into the sky. “Man, I wish I could find my soulmate…”

“We got more important stuff to do,” Gladio said to him.

“So it’s the same here?” I asked. “That’s so weird…”

“Maybe it’s a universal thing,” Noctis said, sneakily glancing at Ignis.

“But… What does that mean for you?” Prompto asked me. Then he gasped. “What if you and your soulmate are the first interdimensional soul pairing?!”

Gladio gave him a half-hearted shove. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“But it could be true!”

“There is certainly some merit to it…” Ignis mused. “After all, she did somehow find her way here.”

I said nothing, knowing in my heart that my “other half” was not on this planet. That night, I fell asleep long after everyone else.

“Please don’t tell me this happened  _ again.” _

Noctis and I had found our way onto yet  _ another  _ planet. It was becoming a common occurrence for me. I wasn’t sure I liked it. Even so, we had made a couple friends; Cecil and the Warrior of Light. They let us tag along on our journey to help a goddess named Materia save her world from destruction.

“If this is another world I’m getting dropped into, there will be a riot,” I growled. My hands subconsciously crackled with electricity. An eye twitched.

“Calm down,” Noctis said. “We’ll get home eventually.”

“Eventually being the key word, Noct.”

Before was a crystal, this one shining darkly. A man with long hair stood with his back to us. I got a regal vibe from him and his outfit. He must be someone important where he’s from. His arms were folded behind him. The four of us stood still and waited.

“Do the goddess’ blind faithful come to do her bidding?” he asked, turning his head. My heart jumped into fast mode.

_ Holy shit now  _ **_that’s_ ** _ a voice I can get behind. _

No one said anything for a few seconds. Then my friend took the lead.

“Not her faithful,” Noctis said amicably. “Here because we gotta be.”

“Actually I am an outlier,” I muttered, unaware the room made things echo slightly, “and should not have been counted.”

Noct laughed. “I don’t think you realize how accurate that is about you.”

I shrugged. The strange man could see us, though his back was still turned. He eyed me for a split second before returning to Noct.

“Ah,” he said, nodding, “all that was left you was to submit.”

_ Oh I’ll gladly submit. But not to the goddess. _

_ You have a  _ **_problem._ **

“Not that we wanted to,” Noct replied with a resigned sigh. I nodded in agreement.

“Big mood,” I said. The man turned around completely. My breath hitched for a second, heart jumping into hyperdrive.

_ He’s  _ **_gorgeous._ **

Lord save me.

“It is for the best, to be sure,” he said. My cheeks flushed, though I hoped to God no one could see. But… Noctis, knowing me, gave me a deadpan side glance. I shrunk back guiltily.

_ Sorry, Noct. _

“Though dullards they may appear, from desolate earth they have conjured worlds one would think beyond their ken. There is no reasoning here. We must only listen and obey.”

The spell was broken. With one line, this guy, whoever he was, brought back my frustration with becoming an unwilling world hopper.

“No thanks,” I ground out, crossing my arms. The man attempted to look me in the eye. I found that, for some reason, I was too nervous to do so myself. The anxiety of anticipation came upon me like a freight train. I felt like I was shaking. Why did I feel like that? A ghost of the smallest grin perked up on him. “I’d rather keep my mind, thanks.”

Noct shoved me slightly. The lightning sparked slightly in my hands again. I gave him a warning glance.

Warrior drew his sword. That sobered me. My eyes widened at the thought of another elite battle I could hardly keep up with. Something told me we shouldn’t mess with this guy.

“Then I take it…” Warrior prompted, “you are prepared to do what you must?”

I looked worriedly at Noctis. He was staring at our new friends like he was starting to wonder if something was wrong with them. Cecil had also drawn his sword. I quickly canceled the angry sparkling in my fingers.

“That gravitas is why you’re our leader,” Cecil told Warrior.

The man raised an armored and white-gloved hand. It extended towards us like a welcome.

“Are you guys actually enjoying this?” Noct asked. His hands were on his hips. He looked so stern I almost laughed. But he was right.

“Yeah…” I whispered in agreement.

“Of course,” Regal Man told us. “We pawns must fight for our freedom.”

“Again,” I muttered, quieter this time, “outlier and should not be counted.”

“Just stay in the shadows,” Noct told me. He summoned one of his weapons. “We’ll be done soon.”

I sighed and took a step back. “Fiiine. If you guys get killed, I’ll kill you again. Especially you, Noctis.”

“Duly noted,” Warrior said lightly. Cecil nodded. Apparently my personality amused him.

Four specters joined the man’s side. I guess it had to be an even match. Fair enough. Except… Wait…

“I’m afraid being an outlier is no exception,” our opponent said to me. My heart jumped again, but not in blatant attraction.

He was going to make  _ me _ fight, as well.

I had survived. Somehow I had actually survived. The crystal in the center of the room shattered on its own. My friends and I stood a shorter distance from Regal Man now. We had won, but I cowered near Noctis, feeling exhausted. My lungs were working overtime. They demanded paid vacations. My legs and arms screamed at me in defiance of their recent actions.

Regal Man gave a short sigh and his head turned down slightly, looking away. Then he stood up straight and addressed one of us.

“Noctis, yes?” he said. “Pray tell, for what purpose do you fight - or would you fight - were you back home?”

Noct started forward but then calmed. He thought for a second. “Something important was taken from me. I mean to take it back.”

The corners of my mouth threatened to lift at his determination. Regal Man gave a thoughtful hum.

“That doesn't mean I’m just doing it for myself, though,” Noctis continued. “I’m doing it for everyone who depends on me. For everyone who has supported me this whole time.”

“Noct…” I whispered, touched.

“I can’t let them down… not when I owe them so much. …I need to get back soon.”

“So…” Regal Man said. “You bind yourself with fetters of your own making…”

Silence. Cecil stepped forward.

“What binds  _ you _ lends  _ us,” _ he said, “and Materia - the strength to protect what we cherish.”

Regal Man was quiet for a moment. Then he looked to me. I straightened in awkwardness.

“______, was it? And what is it that you fight for?” he asked. My heart sputtered and did flips in nervousness for being put on the spot. As Noctis tried to answer for me, my eyes were drawn to the Regal Man’s. “No, no, let her answer for her- self…”

It was like an explosion of kaleidoscopes erupted like a supervolcano in my field of vision. A myriad of shades and hues colored the area around me, filling in the unfinished picture until every last detail had been decided. Fiery colors, bright and dark alike, invaded the light from the flames surrounding us. Cooler ones I could not name lit up the floor through the room’s lighting. The rest of the place was dark, but I didn’t care. The real masterpiece was standing in front of me. His eyes were as wide as mine. We’d both been caught off guard. What was there to say? Too much. Too much, and I didn’t know where to begin.

My heart was filled with a light and airy song. It felt like a heavenly cathedral filtering sunlight through brilliant stained glass windows. My head spun as a rush of dopamine flooded my head. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. What color was his hair? It was a nice, dark color, wavy and long. His armor was several different hues, too. Which was which? How would I know? Should I ask Noctis? But if I spoke, I would break the spell cast on us. I couldn’t do that. Not now.

“..._______?” Noctis’ voice broke my thoughts into shards of glass. “Everything okay?”

I couldn’t speak. A helpless sort of squeak emitted from my throat. Regal Man shook his head to compose himself. My ears did their equivalent of zooming in as I heard him whisper to himself, “Preposterous…”

My heart sank. Did… Did he not like me already? Was I that pathetic? He didn’t even know me…! Was I that horrible of a person that even knowing me for a few minutes made even my own soulmate hate me?

My throat felt tight as tears stung my eyes.

“Wait,” Noctis said, realizing what was up. “Did… Did you two just…” He looked at me. “Can you see the colors now?”

That caught Cecil and Warrior’s attention. I nodded, still unable to to take my eyes off Regal Man. Noctis stood just as stunned as we were for a moment. Then he shook it off and directed his words at my apparent soulmate.

“Well? Are you two just gonna stand there or are you gonna say hi to each other?”

“Uh, Noctis…” Cecil cut in. “Let them figure it out for themselves.”

Regal Man stared at me now, eyebrows furrowed. Like he was analyzing me, judging me. ...Like he didn’t quite like what he saw.

My heart broke a little bit more.

“No,” Noctis said, observing my heartbreak in real time. “No, I’m not gonna butt out when I know her better than any of you. Hey, look. She’s shy, alright? And self conscious. Stop staring at her like you hate her.”

That caused the man to regard Noctis in a less than reverential manner. He spoke calmly, “I fail to understand why this is of importance when we hail from different worlds.”

I could practically  _ hear _ every time my heart was assaulted. Like glass cracking, ready to shatter.

“The  _ fuck _ is wrong with you?” Noctis growled. “She’s from worlds away and can’t even get home and you’re basically telling your own godsdamn soulmate you don’t even care about her!”

“I agree with Noctis,” Warrior said. “Unless you have good reason to reject her, there is no excuse for such blatant rudeness.”

Cecil glanced from Regal Man’s emotionless glare to my heartbroken expression. “...I guess that makes three of us.”

Regal Man sighed. Fighting these three again would not work in his favor. His shoulder relaxed slightly as he addressed me again. “Forgive me. I was simply attempting to tell myself that nothing could come of it. We are, after all, of different realms.”

His words steadily chipped away at my heart. He slowly walked forward, now taking all of me in. Each step had anxiety breathing down my neck. I had always thought meeting my soulmate would be a magical moment. This… This was the complete opposite. I felt  _ un _ wanted instead of feeling like I was home. I felt judged instead of accepted. Was I not what he wanted? Was I not good enough?

_ Why am I not ever good enough? _

Finally he stood before me, tall and imposing, ever intimidating. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to stand my ground. I didn’t need a soulmate… Right? I had friends. ...Right? And I would be able to go home eventually…

...Right?

A hand tilted my chin up and back. Despite being frightened, I managed to meet his gaze. Even if my heart was breaking, I had already fallen for him. He was beautiful. I wanted to know every inch of him and we had hardly exchanged a few sentences.

A thumb stroked my cheek as his eyes suddenly softened. “How lovely…”

My heart sprang back to life with hope. Did he mean it? Did he like me?

Two hands gently cupped my face. “I have been waiting a very long time for you… my sweet.”


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that our circumstances were so different. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t from Eos or Earth, that at the end of this small adventure, I’d have to leave him. It wasn’t fair. It really wasn’t.

His name was Vayne Carudas Solidor and I loved him already. Unfortunately, like with everyone else, it took me prodding and convincing to warm up, but once I did, we were settled in a replica of Costlemark Tower, sitting on the stairs and ignoring whatever it was the gods wanted us to do.

He was serious and dedicated, stern but not impolite. Quite the opposite. He was the third son of his country’s royal family (a shock to commoner me) and had thus been raised a gentleman. He did not sit too close or too far, not that the narrow hallway of steps did anything to help that, and regarded me with a sort of confounded reverence that one could only find in a man who has recently discovered the missing piece in his life and was wondering where the hell it had been thus far.

I very much felt the same.

That isn’t to say that he didn’t have his flaws. It was a divine moment, finding my soulmate, and I was already struggling not to put him on a pedestal. I had to keep him at an equal level or risk getting so infatuated that I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. So as he gave me a brief summary of recent events in his life - he had done most of the talking, respecting my inability to speak and general nervous disposition - I did my best to focus on  _ everything _ he was giving me, willing or not, because he was just as flustered as I was, even if it hardly showed at all.

The nation he hailed from was an empire and he could not have been more proud. There was fierce patriotism, maybe an extremely possible nationalism, in his words as he told me of Ivalice, he beloved home world that I now wished I could see. What could he possibly be more proud of? Well… His family, a renowned House of good and honorable men (as he put it), had served as emperor for generations. This was more impressive in the fact that the people of Archadia  _ chose _ their own leader and so it was not determined completely by birth. As Vayne spoke of House Solidor and his ever-continuing quest to preserve it (his main goal, in the long run), I thought that there was nothing he could love more, his family and its history. He was  _ extremely _ overprotective, or at least, that’s the vibe I got from his words. But it wasn’t until I learned what it was that he truly loved most that I began to notice the flags popping up.

Yes, Vayne loved House Solidor but the one thing - or person, I should say - he loved more… was his little brother. My heart warmed as he spoke of Larsa and how he was doing his best to keep him safe, to safeguard his innocence (the boy was only  _ twelve!) _ and at the same time nurture his sense of justice and integrity. Larsa seemed to be the only individual person Vayne seemed to truly care about. He spoke little of his father and when he did, there was a dull resentment in his voice. He did not tell me of his two older brothers. When I shyly asked about them, he was quiet before telling me that he’d explain at a later date. The topic of conversation quickly turned to one of his role in the empire, a question I’d phrased a bit differently, but the outcome was still the same. And that’s when I began to realize some concerning things.

Vayne loved his family more than anything. To a quietly obsessive point, actually. However… It was something I found rather attractive. But that, right there, was the problem. He loved it  _ too  _ much. He loved his family and his country to the point that he believed any action was justified with the mindset that he was protecting what he loved. And I, perhaps like a fool, fell for it, warning signs and all. It wasn’t until he mentioned a neighboring empire, Rozarria, that I put two and two together to understand that his way of thinking had been incredibly warped. Archadia had invaded a smaller country to strengthen their borders. Vayne planned to use it as the frontline to a war between his empire and Rozarria, the one right below the country he’d just invade. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but I wasn’t going to argue against starting a war just yet - after all, I knew next to nothing about Ivalice and starting an argument with my soulmate first thing would not be a good sign.

Still, Vayne was under the impression that the ends justify the means, and I truly believed his heart was in the right place, wanting to protect what he loved by bringing peace to Ivalice. A noble goal, but his  _ way _ of doing it was what I disagreed with. Innocent people should not have to suffer so much if it could be avoided. And yet… Vayne seemed to think occupying Dalmasca and using it as the frontline was a perfectly fine approach to the problem. I still said nothing of it, though. I was too far gone already, ready to look past whatever grievances he had caused already.

And then he started to gently pry my mind open, little by little. Once I realized I had been quiet most of the time, the apologies came spilling out in torrents. He was taken aback for a split second before he noticed that it really did bother me, how little I had contributed.

“Darling,” My heart fluttered at the pet name, “you have  _ nothing _ to apologize for.”

I shrunk into myself and looked down. As I tried not to cry from all the overwhelming emotions I felt - namely, fear, shock, sudden infatuation - he shifted himself to be closer to me. One hand lifted my right arm so I would turn towards him. The other lifted my left to hold it.

“Believe me when I say, I understand  _ exactly _ how you feel.”

I had to bite my lip from the sheer amount of comfort I felt and not just from his words. Even being near him made me feel like I was home again. Eos was nice and similar enough, but… Vayne reminded me of home somehow. If I didn’t know he was from another planet, I would’ve guessed he was from the Roman Empire, maybe a more modern Roman Empire. That was enough to bring pretty much every feeling being on Eos had given me into the mix and I couldn’t speak. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t, and I didn’t have my phone to tell him what was wrong. I couldn’t tell him what “going nonverbal” means and I couldn’t explain my situation without bursting into tears and I didn’t have a way other than my words if Noct wasn’t here to help me and-

Vayne hushed me softly and somewhat hesitantly pulled me into a weird side hug. “I suppose I did not realize how truly overwhelming this could be.”

I shook my head, resting against his chest.

“No?”

I lifted one hand and gestured helplessly.

“I cannot help you if you don’t tell me what the matter is.”

I sat up and covered my throat with my hand.

“You cannot speak?”

I nodded.

“Hmm… Is there no way for you to tell me what’s on your mind? What has you in such a state if not for this sudden union?”

_ Union. _ He called this a  _ union. _ That made my heart swell and I calmed a bit. Thinking, I tried my best to find a way to convey that Noct and I were from different worlds, too. So I gestured to myself and then up the stairs.

“You and… Noctis?”

He received a nod. I entwined my index fingers together and broke the bond. Vayne watched, perplexed.

“I’m afraid I have no idea what that could possibly mean.”

Tapping my chin, I thought again.

_ Wait! Vayne has brothers! _

I pointed at him and then held up three fingers. He blinked, still confused. I pretended to put on a crown, held up three fingers again, and pointed at him.

“Ah…” He was trying so hard to understand. “I…  _ am _ the third son of the emperor, yes.”

I nodded and held up four fingers, then only one, and then two. Then I pointed to myself and back up the stairs. Once that was done, I waved my arms across each other, like an X, while shaking my head.

“You and Noctis… are not actually related, are you?”

I shook my head, somewhat sadly.

“I thought not. Is…  _ that _ what is bothering you?” The poor thing still sounded utterly puzzled. I shook my head again.

“It’s…” I was beginning to find my voice but I couldn’t form full sentences or ideas. “Mm…”

I pointed up the stairs and to my right knee. Then I gestured to myself once more and then to my left knee. Then, to make sure he grasped the concept, I pointed at Vayne and then at my open left palm. Then I pointed at my “home world” knee and pretended to carry an invisible person over to the “Eos” knee. I flattened my left leg for emphasis. Then I pointed at “Eos” and then “Ivalice” and put them all onto one invisible plate to signify our meeting on Materia’s world. Once I was finished, I tilted my head, hoping he got it this time.

“Ah, I remember,” he said. “Forgive me. It is so easily lost on a man, information, when a beautiful woman is in the room.”

Never have my cheeks felt more like they were sitting next to a burning furnace.

“You and Noctis are from different worlds, as are we. That  _ would _ weigh on your conscience. And all those feelings…”

I nodded. “Mixed.” Then I shyly peered up at him. “Home.”

“I remind you of home?”

A vigorous nod was his answer. His eyes softened but kept a steely sheen to that pale green color (Noctis and Cecil had kindly explained which colors were which).

“Well, I could not be more honored.”

I couldn’t help myself. The need for affection was too great after officially telling him that. A short huff of shock emitted from him as I latched my arms around him.

“Ah…” He cleared his throat and patted my back. “Very well…”

“I’m going to be very affectionate,” I whispered now that he technically couldn’t see me. He was silent for a moment.

“_______, we really should be more realistic in our approach to this… development.”

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

“________.”

“I don’t wanna leave you.”

Strong arms came up to return my embrace. “I would take you with me to Ivalice, if I could. But it is far too dangerous a place for you right now.”

“But I’d have  _ you  _ with me!”

His grip tightened at my blatant trust. “And yet I do not trust those around me. I am far too busy to keep an eye on you at all times. ...Would there were a way to contact you…”


End file.
